Ok so I didnt post yesterday bc I was sick...and today...I am at work...SICK AS A DOG and just not in a good mood...so I was going to skip today as well...however I came across Miss Cho's blog and OH MAN IT WAS HILARIOUS! first lets go in to the one about Sarah Palin!
She says:
"I Want To Steam Up Those GlassesI am not voting for McCain. I hope that is obvious. I am sick of everyone saying – “He was a good soldier. He was a good soldier.”
Um yeah. He was captured.
So he was not that good.
And now with Sarah Palin at his side, they have actually become the worst ticket imaginable. The only way it could be worse would be if Satan were running with Chuck Norris as his VP. Actually, Lucifer-Norris sounds better than McCain-Palin.
But even though I would never, ever vote for Palin, I am kind of obsessed with effing her. She is sexy and hot in a MILF/Cougar way. Like you could have that real mature, straight to the point, adult, over forty, gonna come multiple times with a big, oversize t-shirt on and nothing else and “I don’t care what I look like cuz I am gonna bust nuts in your curl” kind of effing with her. I want to steam up those glasses and show her what a pitbull with lipstick really needs – doggy style!
Seriously – I wanna eat her Alaskan putang from behind. Like an Eskimo. What?! I’m just trying to keep warm!
Although you know that thing is frozen and my tongue would probably stick."
and now...entitled "I'm a Christian, you Fuckers!"
I’m a Christian, you FuckersAll kinds of Christians are getting mad about my Sarah Palin comments, and it is pissing me off.
First of all – you fucking fake Christians - don’t fucking question my Christianity. I grew up in the church. My grandfather was a minister, who is with God now and talks to me in my dreams from God’s corner office. I am a former Sunday school teacher. I taught the Bible to children and showed them how to love God and invite him into their hearts. I believe in God – but I don’t fear him. God is my best friend. God is my ally. God is my boyfriend. God is my best fag. I am God’s fag hag cuz didn’t you know, God is a big fag. Serious bottom too. Butch in the streets, femme in the sheets. That is my God. God is my biggest fan. God gets me, dude.
God wants us all to just get along. He doesn’t give a shit about the profanity. The bitch fucking invented profanity. He thinks it is hilarious. He just wants you to talk to him, and he doesn’t care what you have to say. He just wants to keep the conversation going. Like Jay-Z, he just wants to love you. He just wants you to be able to make your own decisions. God is all about you and what you need. God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome. God understands if you need to have an abortion. That is why he created abortion, on the 8th day. God accepts. God forgives. God loves all of us, even though some of us might have a problem with each other.
Don’t fucking question my Christianity you fucking idiot assholes. If you continue to have a problem, then talk to God about it, not me, you fucking racist homophobic misogynist fake Christian shitheads. God thinks it is funny that I swear so much. He said I could use his name in vain or whatever. He just wants me to use it. He loves me. So fuck you. And I guess he loves you too. Even though you are fake Christian assholes. If you were truly Christians, you would let gays get married, and send them fucking presents from Bed Bath and Beyond!
If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers.
Can I just say I love this lady!
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