Happy Birthday Tupac Shakur

In the event of my Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise

Jada
u r the omega of my heart
the foundation of my conception of love
when i think of what a black woman should be
its u that i first think of

u will never fully understand
how deeply my heart feels 4 u
i worry that we'll grow apart
and i'll end up losing u

u bring me 2 climax without sex
and u do it all with regal grace
u r my heart in human form
a friend i could never replace

Tupac,

You are remembered as more then an artist, more then a man, but a legend. Through your lyrics, poems and words we remember you. Never just the "rapper" but an active member of the community. Some think of you and remember "thug life" I think of you and see someone that was living well beyond his years. I didn't pay much attention when I was younger... I just remember I loved your songs. Now I listen to your words and see that you weren't only trying to entertain us...but teach us values and morals. Some say you were a walking contradiction. I say you were a man, making the best of the situation you found yourself in. Rest In Peace Mr. Shakur and I thank you for the valuable information you tried to relay to the masses...we still hear you...and we will still pass your words on.

Your Fan,
A

Im back bishes

"Its been a long time.... i shouldnt of left you..."
with out a dope thought you can think to... haha
so its been a while... im not sure how long... i didnt bother to check the last time i wrote here. does anyone even check this thing?
anyway a lot has happened and well... i would say that im in a different place in my life...
everyone has to grow up sometime huh? guess it was my time. I gotta say, its not so bad. Sure sometimes you have to sell tickets to a concert youve been waiting months to see... or pass up on a trip outta state to take care of bigger concerns....but then you have the flip side.
you see that life is more than just drinks, parties and selfish desires... its about RENT BILLS AND LIFE. lol sounds bad but the reality is ... you gain your independence.
now with that indepence you also gain 100 lb weights ...called responsibilty. you cant have the independence wihttout the responsibility, sorry thats just not the way life works. now you try to FRONT like you have the independence and hide from some of your responbilities well then let me be the first to tell you....YOUR ONLY FOOLING YOURSELF. and with that said... at the age of 25 im cutting the shit, no time to lose... hows that song go? "no time for fake ones" cuz really who has the time to deal with someone who has two faces ? sometimes you dont even see the second face until you've already invested time in getting to know that person... no thanks i dont have time for it. how about you wait right here ... do what you do... while i make these moves...collect this money... make someething of myself and if your here when i get back... ill say whats up? lol.
alright bishes my mind is clearing up and the office is on... lemme holla at this when my mind is right. thanks for welcoming me back...DEUCES

**sigh** here we go ...

Out of all the articles that are out there now about Chris Brown and Rihanna, this one is by far the one that actually had be thinking "Damn...maybe Breezy should of left her a long time ago..."

I was surfing through www.necolebitchie.com and she writes and interesting article...blog whatever you want to call it. Check it out: 

Last week while posting information found in Rihanna’s police report, I stated that media outlets have been purposely leaving out important details of the story causing holes that didn’t add up. It looks as though those details are now emerging.

New Details Surrounding Police Report
Contrary to what sites like TMZ had previously reported, Rihanna did not tell police that she was the victim of “escalating violence.” TMZ reported: “Multiple enforcement sources tell TMZ, the night of the attack Rihanna told cops she was the victim of escalating violence — and the perp was Brown.”However, a source involved in the investigation tells Hollyscoop exclusively that in the reports, Rihanna confessed there has only been two other incidences in which she felt threatened, but this was the first time Chris retaliated. Rihanna told investigators that the first incident occurred in Europe three months ago. It was a verbal dispute, which led to Rihanna slapping Chris Brown. In self-defense, Chris put her up “against the wall” and told her to calm down.

The second incident occurred when the couple was visiting Rihanna’s family in her native Barbados back in August 2008. She described the incident as a verbal dispute, and added that no one was assaulted. According to the source involved in the investigation, the night of the alleged attack, Rihanna attacked Chris after reading a text message sent to him by a former lover.

The situation escalated and resulted in Chris’ alleged attack on Rihanna. Chris turned himself over to the LAPD on February 8 and was booked and later released on $50,000 bail.

The Call for Help
Although initial reports suggested that a female made the call to police, according to the report, it was a Rabbi who lives in the area. The unidentified man reportedly heard the confrontation outside and called 911, not knowing he was about to make a report about R&B’s biggest stars. He came outside when he heard shouting. “She was screaming out of control and he was extremely calm,” read his statement, adding that Rihanna “was not screaming for help, she was just screaming.”

TMZ, the main culprit of this lop-sided story updated their website this weekend with this tidbit of information.

We’re told Brown’s people have consulted with outside legal eagles — including law school professors — who have said Rihanna’s own aggressiveness takes it out of the felony category. Sources say Rihanna was the first one to strike — slapping and striking Brown “numerous times” while he was driving, after seeing the text message from another woman.

In no way am I placing the blame on Rihanna even though she shouldn’t have hit him first (especially while he was driving. They better be glad the both of them aren’t dead) However, Chris Brown should have never hit Rihanna back. In an interview with DJ Clue he revealed he has “laughed it off then walked away” in the past so what made this time different. The constraints of the car??

In most of the specials I’ve seen on domestic violence since this ordeal began, I noticed the focus was more on women who need to leave an abusive relationship, however I think a good topic for discussion is not only explaining to the man that if he finds himself in one, he should walk away but also explaining how. If you have a son who’s getting hit, scratched, bit etc by his girlfriend you have to teach him that he can’t hit her back because he’s 10 times stronger, however if it gets to the point where he has to protect himself, how does he restrain her without hurting her? And lastly, it just shows that men can be in abusive relationships too but if they stay, they are just as much at fault as a woman that stays in one. One day he will pop her back….and he will go to jail.

This brings up a good point, what does the male do when he is the one being abused? It seems that society doesn't feel too bad for the man in this situation because he is stronger then the woman...ok thats good and great but when a woman is smacking you up constantly, your going to reach a point where you want to back hand the heffer! I'm not one for domestic violence in no way shape or form and I've had my share of experiences looking in to and being in those type of relationships and nothing good ever comes of it. Both of you end up with black eyes talking about "I'm sorry I popped your eye...but you know I love you right?!"...."I'm sorry I kicked you in the balls...I love you too!!!" its sickening! The worst part is that some woman take advantage of a man with good home training, they flip out start smacking em up and then sooner or later that man snaps and yokes her up one good time and BAM 911 is knocking! thats not fair! see those type of women...I'm sorry to say it but those type of women need to get a good smack but once that is done the man in that situation needs to leave, walk away from that relationship bc brother its only going to end bad for you! Look at Chris Brown's career...poor bastard didn't even realize how bad this would get...as for Rihanna...oh Rhi Rhi why couldnt you just walk away...WHY GET BACK TOGETHER?! Let's pray that these acts of violence don't continue to escalate. 

I knew there was a reason I didnt want to get a Facebook account

Did you know that as a Facebook account holder you have pretty much relinquished all your rights to YOUR pictures even if you cancel your account?!
Look in your Terms of Service and you will notice a pretty disturbing change regarding your user content. Read here and catch rest of this story....either way though NOW IM DEFINITLY NOT OPENING UP A FACEBOOK!

Heres what Founder Mark Zuckerberg has to say about it:

"In reality, we wouldn't share your information in a way you wouldn't want. The trust you place in us as a safe place to share information is the most important part of what makes Facebook work. Our goal is to build great products and to communicate clearly to help people share more information in this trusted environment."

Still doesn't really explain why they NEED to OWN your stuff but suuuure we will buy that...STILL NOT GETTING ONE!

reasons why Myspace is BETTER then FACEBOOK

SNATCH THAT WEAVE SON!

This is why I need me a woman with REAL hair because when I pull it I don't want you getting all Mad that I exposed your bald ass head to everyone! LOL!!

I Wish I was There RIGHT NOW!

Sometimes I just want to get away...to some where quiet, where all the thoughts running through my head can just come to a screeching halt and leave me be for a second.

2008 Grammys

So I am watching the end of the grammys...it ws good...Swagger like us was GREAT! MIA was soooo pregnant and still preformed....but my one question...WHERE THE HELL WERE CHRIS BROWN AND RIHANNA!!!! WTF the commercials said they were going to show up and nothing! WHAT A JIP!! anyway though all in all lil wayne did a good job and i am happy that Adele got a grammy!! but next time...i am on a mission to find out what happen with Chris Breezy and Rihanna. I waited and waited thinkning they were going to show up at the end and NOTHING! Oh well...now i will make my way home...gotta get up in the morning Cya folks!!! but before i go lets listen to my baby DRAKE!!

Every Girl ft Drake, Jae Millz, Gutta & Mack Maine - Lil Wayne

Here we go....I guess this is just the tip of the iceberg folks...

Ok so they cursed up a storm...they were excited! What does this have to do with our President? Now ok ok they really should stop cursing and saying the N word like that esepecially when we are trying to "Make a Change" but you know what I still don't think its a reason for people to incoorperate other peoples behavior with President Barack Obama. We all know folks like Bill O' Reilly and folks over at FOX will find anything to bring him down but you know what F**K YOU!!!

Forward to 2:21 and this to this crapola!


Don't act so self rightous Bill...we all remember this clip. Can we say ANGER MANAGEMENT!
"We'll DO IT LIVE F**K IT!!! F**KIN THING SUCKS!" LMAO!

President Obama and The First Lady's first dance!!!

THIS IS SOOOO CUTE!!!!! GO AHEAD!!! Truly a touching moment!

It's good to see our new President have fun. Shows us his HUMAN side. I really believe he will do good for this country...and correct the mistakes that THE OTHER GUY made. God Bless him.

President Barack Obama's full inauguration address

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

A great day in history! I can't find the words to explain how happy this has me. I had a knot in my throat the entire time!!!

The cutest brother and sister I know...

Look at how much my Jojo loves his little sister...CUTE AS A BUTTON!

These two are going to be inseparable!

My Niece And Nephew... they are the cutest ever...I know I know everyone says their relatives are the cutest but no seriously my niece and nephews are the cutest! EVER! WATCH OUT YALL!

By Travis McCoy....Poor Baby I Just Want to Hug You!

while this town is busy sleeping all the noise has died away i walk the streets to stop my weeping ‘cause she’ll never change her ways
don’t fool yourself she was heartache from the moment that you met her my heart feels so still as i try to find the will to forget her somehow oh i think i’ve forgotten her now
her love is a rose pale and dying dropping her petals and men unknownall full of wine the world before her was sober with no place to go
don’t fool yourself she was heartache from the moment that you met her my heart is frozen still cause i try to find the will to forget her somehow she’s somewhere out there now
oh my tears are falling down as i try to forget her love was a joke from the day that we met all of the words all of the men all of my pain when i think back to when remember her hair as it shone in the sun the smell of the bed when i knew what she’d done tell yourself over and over you wont ever need her again
But don’t fool yourself she was heartache from the moment that you met her oh my heart is frozen still as i try to find the will to forget her somehow she’s out there somewhere now
oh she was heartache from the day that i first met her my heart is frozen still as i try to find the will to forget you somehow cause i know you’re somewhere out there right now

Completly feeling this poem! OMGosh! Don't worry Travie...we have all been there...

Even though I had to SPRINT to catch my bus this morning

I hopped on the bus with good spirits, in a good mood and just all around re-evaluating myself. I fall short in some places but who doesn't. I feel like in relationships I have been jaded but at the same time I never really felt the rush or pressure to HAVE to be in a relationship. I always figured I am to young to be all caught up in a relationship and thinking about marriage and life long commitments with people. Most people I came across ESPECIALLY females felt like I was just bitter because of my past relationships and others just said "GOSH YOUR SUCH A GUY!" but I truly don't see anything wrong with what I was saying. I am not saying I am swearing off marriage or committing myself to someone but I won't be pressured in to a relationship simply because its the thing to do or because all of my other friends are "bunned" up. Nope not me. I say all that to say this... I am in my 20's, I am not looking to get married right now, I want to be happy with myself and where I am in life before I commit myself to someone...and thankfully I am not the only one that thinks this way. Here is a blog I came across from a fellow Downelinker:

Okay, my head hurts.. really.. we need to change this site from "downelink" to "HEADACHELINK" cuz i'm reading these blogs and I feel like slitting my freakin wrists already!!!! You all are complaining about some woman that did you wrong. Ok.. news flash.. they all do you wrong!! Hush.. I'm worried about summa u... REALLY! Summa you ain't but 20, 22.. just got breasts last week... yo.. you forget, but there's one that has changed since we figured out how to make fire... you live the best part of your life in your TWENTIES!!!!!! YO.. stop being in the big ass hurry to get HITCHED, UHAULED, SOULMATED-UP, SHACKED-UP, FUCKED-UP with no one... seriously. And I mean, if you've hit 2 or 3 hard core relationships (use your own judgement).. then yo.. give it a break and concentrate on ummm.... i dk... YOU!!!! If you haven't already, you *should* have started / cycled / organized some type of self-sufficient business .. umm.. before you hit 22. I'm only saying this cuz I read another blog that addressed a serious issue.. our divide. Ladies.. as a community of educated, powerful, strong black women... why the hell don't we own more stuff? Why the hell don't we own the bars we party in?!?!?!?? Why the f'k are we still shoppin in Old Navy?!?!!? Why the hell are we still buying, listening and supporting STRAIGHT ARTISTS (go check out myspace for Lesbian artists and see who you come up with.. do you know them?) Stop being sheep... focus.. there be lots and lots and lots of time to enjoy both women and life down the road, but for now.. get your Super Woman on.. besides, it's way more attractive for a younger woman (you'll only ever obsess over younger women once u get older..*shrug*...hush ) to date an older hot RICH woman... TRUST ME.. it's nice when she can fly you to WHEREVER and it's not hurting the bank account..

Thank you LYT3Z ? - 3rLyantly™ you have reassured me that I am not the ONLY one that isn't caught up in getting hitched....I'm sorry but some lesbians are too caught up in being paired up and loved then worrying about being happy with themselves...CMON LADIES LETS DO US before We DO SOMEONE ELSE!

Inauguration Dress Rehersal....

As we all sit and wait for the day...these folks are rehearsing. Acting as a stand-in for President-elect Barack Obama is Army Staff Sgt. Derrick Brooks....I just have to say...MMM MMM MMMM he is SEXY! something about a man in a uniform... =)

HA! I thought this was pretty a cool look in to what COULD be...

HA I was addressed as Dr. Fiestas! lol Well check the doctor getting her groove one LOL!!!!!!!I'm at work sending emails... and I get a reply email...saying the following:

Dr. Fiestas:
Should I send the CD to your attention of Dr. Walker-Abbey?
-Dr. Petska

>>> "F******, A*l**n (N**/O*/***) [C]"
01/12/09 2:38 PM >>>
Hello Dr. Pestka,
The CD you sent us doesn't work, please send up a CD with your supplementary Materials so it may be uploaded to your grant folder.

I agree...R&B is falling off, it all sounds like the same damn song! Personally I am sick to death of the same shit. Someone is always crying about some mess, just a bunch of whining!

"Ooooo I love you....ooooo your my wife..oooooo ooo your my life..."

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm over it, when I was younger I loooooved some R&B lately though anything coming out just gets the eye roll. I'm not sure what it is because its not even that its all about love bc there are a few old R&B hits that are about love but it just seems like there is no feeling in to it anymore...its about the HOT TRACK to get that $$$. Can we put all that on hold for a second and take the artist back to the FEELING the music before seeing the paycheck! Give me something with a little more substance, something that is going to make me have the song on repeat! GIVE ME SOMETHING! so lately I have switched my ipod from R&B to Alternative or just the old school hits... anything else coming out of the R&B or Hip-Hop side is really going on life support right about now. Now when I hear R&B I hear pop music in it...I hear everything but the Rhythm and Blues...WHATS WRONG WITH MUSIC!!!!! But we do have some exceptions though....Alicia Keys, John Legand, Tank and a few others...

Few of my Favorites:

Did Anyone Else Catch The Real World Brooklyn?

Can I just say that there are more gays on this show then any other !! YEAY!!!!! LOL!
But the one that is breaking my meter is Chett! that poor boy seems sooooo gay now I won't say that he IS because he says he ISN'T but my first impression was GAY! I mean...his jeans alone...i know i know skinny jeans on boys are in...but DAMN that boys jeans were so tight I GOT A YEAST INFECTION! and he already admitted to being attracted to one of his room mates...(not sure what his name is... the cute white boy with the banging UPPER BODY GOOD LORD!) Lets recap shall we?

-When Chett and the guy from Iraq are making up the song about their other room mate and its Chett's turn he says " ...and i think he is cute.....wait what?" LMAO
-When he requested to SEE THOSE ABS AGAIN!
-And finally when he said.....GOSH YOU REALLY DO HAVE NICE ABS!

now ok ok maybe he isnt and he is just secure with himself to compliment another man....but in my honest opinion I would look at him and ask him for some sugar bc lord knows he has a load in his tank! LOL

Raining...Again...

The rain always puts me in a funk...and again its raining today all day!

I just want to get home, shower and change. There isn't too much going on today though work had me glued to the screen today. I really hope it doesn't rain all weekend because a girl has plans this week and I better have fun! I will be sober though I don't plan on drinking, this will be my challenge this week, to go out and not have a drink AND STILL HAVE FUN!

"I told her I can be with herBut I cant be with her As much as she like me to She like me too much Thats the problem"Oh my god" then Shorty be whillin and when I say I got to leave You wouldn't believe all of the things that she'll do and all of the things she'll say to make me stay and I be like"daaaaaammmmnnnnnn"

Wayne's new song is funny as hell... I love it though..its different. I think I will listen to it twice on the way home.... CUZ GIRL I GOT A PROBLEM AND I'M NOT FOOLING NO ONE BUT MYSELF

And so it begins

Is it me or does anyone else think that it shouldn't be allowed to rain when its cold!

I looked outside this morning and it was pouring...why? its too damn cold for that!

Work is soooooooo boring! Not that I don't have things to do but the work it self is boring the mess out of me....not to mention a certain someone blowing up my line and inbox....I CANT FINISH ANYTHING IF YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING ME!

I am finally busting out of here....only to come back tomorrow morning...*sigh* then its a trip to the airport...I already have a feeling of losing air...HATE IT! But I am working on it which reminds me... I guess I need to ask my daily question today...I'll think of something on the way home...anyone who is smart enough to make a pill that makes you forget or eliminate old feelings PLEASE let me know when you make it bc I will buy it!!! One day at a time A...one day at a time...in the mean time... just pray about it? JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!! lol I am all over the place today....ugh.... I am dreading going outside in the wet cold weather! Well people I have to catch my bus....bc no one is picking me up.... its funny how I gave out rides left and right when I had my car...but now that I don't have one...rides are no where in sight....but then again not everyone is as nice as I am...or maybe they are not as dumb as I am *sratching my head*

2009....trying to turn over a new leaf and let certain things go...but why the hell are somethings harder to let go then others?

With all that said I leave you with this question :

When you give your heart to someone and they leavewith your heart....your left heartless...can a heartless person feel love again? Secondly...why feel it at all?

These questions have been plaguing me...

#1. Can you truly be FRIENDS with someone your still/use to be in love with?


#2. Can you be BEST FRIENDS with someone your still/use to be in love with?


Now with those questions in mind...watch this video and listen.

Gnarls Barkley - New Music - More Music Videos

I've seen this video quite a few times since it's premier but for me this speaks nothing but the truth when this situation arises. After he gives his heart to her he says:

" I don't know why it works this way...but I'll never be able to get over you so from now on every girl I meet will be meticulously compared to you and unfortunately none of them will be able to measure up to the "false" memory of what me and you had...."

"Now that you have my heart I am an empty cavity...for lack of a better term HEARTLESS....i will now treat each woman i meet with a passive aggressive contentiousness which will ruin relationship after relationship for many years to come..."

She says " I really treasure your friendship...so much..."

so with him feeling that way can he truly be JUST friends with her...BEST friends at that? is it possible? I know time fixes everything but can TIME really let two people just be platonic friends while or if the other one was in love with them at some point?

As much as I would like to think so...part of me thinks that you can't completely be JUST FRIENDS. Friends share things together...BEST FRIENDS share everything...including new romances in their lives...so when someone you use to date ends up being your best friend....and they have a new person in their life, how does that work when it comes time to introduce the new person? Will you always have to be considerate of the other persons feelings because you don't want to hurt them....or do yo live your life and just ignore the fact that the other person loves you or has loved you. Do you swallow up your feelings and just go through with pretending? do you sacrifice your feelings so that you can be a true "friend" ?

It seems like a really sticky situation but with proper time and communication maybe it can happen...maybe you can be best friends with someone you use to love...or maybe you just love that person so much that you at least HOPE that TIME will fix everything and one day things like that just won't phase you...maybe its all just hope and your really just holding on to a friendship because you don't want to lose being around the one you love? Maybe you just need to let everything go because sometimes it really does have to be ALL or NOTHING.

Personally I don't have the answers, I can only say that each situation is different and although everyone can have an opinion about it no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, and no one will ever know where your heart is. Some people are worth the fight...the anguish...the awkwardness...some friendships just mean that much to me. For me...she does and although sometimes I feel like throwing in the towel...I know that there are people in this world that you will never come across again so you have to cherish them regardless of how hard it can be. Some Best Friends you can't afford to lose...and for me...she is and will always be that BEST FRIEND I can never lose.

"Friends come and go, romances come and go, money comes and goes...but YOU I can't let go for YOU are me and I am you....its true..we are one."

-Release & Pray-

~A...